The cast of Desert Foothills Theater's THE COMPLETE WORKS OF WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE, ABRIDGED

We asked the cast of Desert Foothills Theater's The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, Abridged (revised) to re-write their program bios to be more in line with either the humorous, Shakespearean or Abridged version of their show.

This is what they submitted:

Bradley Beamon

The Straight Man Couplets
by Bradley Beamon

I am a guy afflicted with a hex,
I’ll bet you already see its effects.
No matter how I fight, it just gets worse,
For when I talk, I’m doomed to speak in verse.

In terms of comedy, the role I take
Is called “the straight man”. My job is to make
It easy for my friends to get a laugh.
I cut the work they have to do in half.

My castmates have my back when I’m in need.
Ah, crap, I’m rhyming still, I can’t be freed!

Y’know, these couplets can have greater use.
The play we’re in, you surely can deduce
Makes use of rhyming couplets, verse, and prose;
When’s the last time you saw one of those shows?

So come on out, and have some fun with us
As we explore the Bard (it will be nuts).
Ryan, Ari, and I have a great time
And you will too; it will be worth your dime.

But be careful; you too might start to rhyme.

Ari Devriend

Ari Devriend

Dying in 1425 from the Black Plague, I was reborn a vampyre with the goal of a fulfilling life.

I studied over 20 languages and became fluent in 18 of them. I read hundreds of books knowing that I could retain information so easily now that I was no longer mortal. While traveling through London in 1593 I stumbled across a play called “The Comedy of Errors” written by a William Shakespeare.

Lost in the hilarity and rich art of the show I stayed in London for many years watching all of Shakespeare’s unique works. When he passed away I realized that my new life would be fulfilled making sure Shakespeare’s works never went to the grave with him.

As generations went from corsets to halter tops, pin ups to perms, and arias to dub step I realized this would be a much harder task. Finally I met two gentlemen in the states that shared my same enthusiasm for the magnificent works of Shakespeare and together we have created a unique adaptation of all of his works.

We have made sure this show is historically accurate by adding in cross-dressing, rap, vomit, “authentic” Scottish accents and so much more! It is going to be a lump of hilarity you don’t want to miss!

Ryan Wentzel

Ryan is an eminent Shakespearean scholar with over 10 years of experience.  11 years if you count that time he went to mime college.  When he is not contemplating on the Bards splendorous work,  Ryan can be found pumping iron at the Titus Andronicus Gym for the revenged.  His favorite Shakespearean role to play is Hamlet.  So much so, some would say it is a bit of an obsession.  Ryan also has two tattoos on his back one of Shakespeare and the other of Mel Gibson in His glorious role as Hamlet.  He would like to thank Tyrion and Brawn for making this all possible.



CLICK HERE for more information on The Complete Works of William Shakespeare, Abridged at Desert Foothills Theater through September 20th.